Tyrants in toxic cultures occasionally speak the quiet part out loud. This usually happens when someone pushes them on an uncomfortable or unpopular topic.
“If you don’t like it, just leave.”
Here’s why:
When a broken ecosystem traps you, it is easy to lose sight of the healthy parts of your life and career. A true value-aligned community or workplace won’t force you to compromise your peace of mind. You shouldn’t have to twist your personality into knots just to survive the day or the week.
Instead, an optimal culture serves as a catalyst for your personal or professional growth. It offers an environment where your talents and individuality thrive, and leadership respects your boundaries. They actively celebrate your hard work and humanity.
Achieving this level of professional freedom remains the ultimate goal. To get there, you must first understand the hidden systemic rules that teams play by in your community or company.
The Invisible Game: Decoding How Toxic Workplace Ecosystems Form and Mutate
Culture is a pattern of behavior that environments tolerate — even reward — within a family, organizational unit, department, company, community, or society.
Culture is everywhere, at all levels of abstraction, at all times. However, we typically only notice it when it’s not working in our favor, or when it’s actively working against us.
Leaders create the culture. This includes investors, the board, the legislature, executives, and even parents and grandparents. It also includes the managers they employ, incentivize, reward, punish, and retain.
It is important to realize that all management communication patterns and behaviors are choices, not obligations nor natural laws.
These stakeholders often base their communication styles on the frustration they experience while looking for satisfaction. You may experience similar frustration in the toxic culture that drove you here. This happens because the existing culture rewards and retains people who perpetuate it to deliver the current results, whatever they may be.
In short, your experience in a toxic culture features as part of the current strategy and policy. People in a position to influence and control outcomes make this choice. Whatever they optimize for—revenues, expenses, profits, growth, or even just control—they do not optimize for your symptoms. Instead, they ignore your symptoms. They disregard them as less important.
In similar situations, things only change when leaders decide to make a shift. If you advocate for your concerns without consistently prioritizing theirs, you cause problems. You put yourself directly at odds with their chosen strategy and goals.
The Professional Fallout: Understanding the Traps of Being a “Poor Culture Fit”
To survive, lean into the extreme outlier options. These paths are most likely to yield the greatest success and satisfaction for you.
You’re a round peg trying to force yourself into a square hole. They will label you a “poor culture fit.” Incidentally, they will use that exact phrase to describe your future during semi-annual “talent reviews” and strategic planning sessions.
By the time you look for relief, you have likely endured enough uncomfortable situations. A common discussion now exists above your pay grade. Leaders see you as unhappy and flag you as a “flight risk.” They fear your exit will compromise their operation.
They may already be planning your exit for you.
đź’ˇ Related Resource: Looking to balance your professional foundation before making your next move? Check out ourFree Career Acceleration Blueprint Tool to map out your core professional metrics.
The Exit Roadmap: A Strategic Guide to Evaluate and Reclaim Your Career
Do not move to strategy, selection, and action just yet. First, look closely to ensure you fully understand your current situation.
Look closely at your current situation and the culture driving these behaviors. What actual values and goals drive the cultural habits you observe?
Name the values and goals that are driving the culture and experiences you’re having.
If you’re having trouble clarifying the situation, schedule a clarity call with dylan, where we’ll consider your situation, identify the cultural values and goals, and identify some options for you.
With those values and goals in mind, your best two options are the following:
- Adopt those values and goals line they were your idea in the first place, understand them inside and out, connect with the people who best represent and personify them, and commit your life to fulfilling them.
- Leave. But before you leave, clarify your own values and goals, and find an environment and role that enables you to fully commit and lives your own true values and goals.
The other alternatives leave you stuck. You’re a round peg trying to force yourself into a square hole. You’re a “poor culture fit.” Incidentally, that’s one of the phrases they’ll use to describe you as they discuss your future with the company in the semi-annual “talent reviews” and strategic planning sessions. In all likelihood, by the time you come this far in your own situation looking for relief, you’ve already had enough uncomfortable situations and conversations that there’s already a common discussion above your pay grade that you’re “not happy” and “may be a flight risk,” meaning they’re afraid you’ll leave and that will further compromise their operation.
They may already be planning your exit for you.
If you’re worried that you may need a better plan and more support more urgently, schedule a strategy call with Dylan. We’ll consider your situation and define some options to help you take control and dramatically improve your situation, satisfaction, and success at work.
