60 Minutes To Your Perfect Relationship

Last week we discussed the 5 fundamental relationship questions. This week we share a tool you can use to define, in detail, the elements of your perfect relationship and partner.

Note: this model works just as well for work or business relationships as it does for spousal relationships.

Are you ready to begin?

Prepare to Plan your Perfect Relationship

Put yourself in a quiet, uninterrupted time and place where you can relax. Take a deep breath. Maybe get a cup or glass of your favorite relaxing beverage.

Set a timer for 10 minutes and imagine. Write for 10 minutes on the writing cues below.

Start writing or typing after you start the timer and do not stop writing or typing until after the timer expires. Fingers keep moving even if you don’t know what to write. If you’re really stuck, write “I don’t know what to write” repeatedly until a new idea surfaces. I promise, it won’t take long.

Finish whatever thoughts you still have in mind after the timer expires. Continue writing until you’ve exhausted ideas. You may write 10 minutes 2 seconds, or you may write 29 minutes. Exhaust your ideas.

If you really and truly run out of ideas before the timer runs out, that’s ok too. You’re done!

Spelling, grammar, and punctuation are not important. The un-edited output of your unconstrained imagination is what we want.

Perform the Exercise: Answer These 6 Simple Questions

(Download a printable form here.)

Requirements

  1. What I must have in a mate/relationship:
  2. What I cannot/will not have in a mate/relationship:

Desirables

  1. What I’d like to have in a mate/relationship:
  2. What I would prefer not to have in a mate/relationship:

Commitments

  1. Who/what I will ALWAYS be in the relationship and for my mate:
  2. What or who I will NEVER be in the relationship or for my mate:

For spousal/marital relationships

Remember to include details about 3 major stressors of spousal relationships:

  1. Money
  2. Sex
  3. Parenting

Understand Yourself

If you have not already begun the inquiry into who you are, independent of relationship, do these exercises now.

Bonus Activity

Resource

Relationship definition form

For More Information

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Hi, I’m Dylan Cornelius.
I was passed over for promotions four times in three years, every time passed over by a peer. My marriage was a wreck. I was obese and my doctor threatened to medicate me if I didn’t lose weight.
When I calculated the per-hour value of my overtime at work, the additional money in my bonus didn’t justify the costs to my health, relationships, and personal satisfaction.
After five years of hearing me complain, my brother told me to stop complaining or do something about it. I was stunned that it had been so long.
After a long and expensive search, I realized the quality of my relationships was poor and I wasn’t taking care of other people or myself.
When I committed to creating fantastic relationships and high-performing teams in every area of my life that mattered, my life transformed.
I was promoted. Now I’m picked to lead teams and frequently thanked for my contribution.
While my marriage didn’t survive, I met an amazing woman who trained me for my first two marathons, and now I do triathlons for fun. I lost 50 pounds and controlled my diet, allergies, and autoimmunity.
Now my “Honey Bunny” and I tour for weeks at a time on a tandem bike. Soon, we’ll cross countries and continents.
I created a Team Acceleration Blueprint based on my personal development journey and decades of education and experience building and leading teams at some of the best universities and companies on the planet.
I believe the world can work for everyone. It starts with clarity of purpose, fantastic relationships, and high-performing teams. I intend to help 10,000 people create an unfair advantage and achieve results they didn’t believe were possible too.

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