Hello, are you a technically trained or specialized knowledge worker interested in enhancing your soft skills?
Have you reached a point in your career where you’re beginning to realize that further training and specialization outside your technical field might be the key to unlocking your full potential?
Maybe you’ve been told by your boss or a coworker that your communication skills or interpersonal skills or soft skills need improvement.
What’s holding you back?
Perhaps you’ve wondered what’s been holding you back.
Could it be that soft skills are the missing piece of the puzzle that will enable you to achieve your most important career goals?
Many individuals eventually realize that unless they want to continue down their current path indefinitely—and don’t get me wrong, many people genuinely enjoy their work, their companies, and their teams—developing soft skills is essential for expanding their options, making a greater impact, and exploring new avenues in their careers.
For many, the decision is clear: soft skills can help us break away from our current routine.
Soft skills are likely to be the catalyst that propels you toward more choices and opportunities.
They can also help you understand why you:
- Might not have been chosen for new, more interesting, or challenging roles.
- Were laid off instead of a coworker.
- Are not receiving raises, bonuses, or promotions.
My initial awareness of soft skills
I can speak from personal experience.
By 20 years into my career, I was passed over for promotions four times in three years, and my home life was miserable. My wife and I were distant, and I couldn’t pinpoint exactly where I was going wrong.
Upon introspection, I realized there must be something I didn’t know… I concluded that either I was doing something I needed to:
- Start doing — and no-one was telling me.
- Stop doing — and no-one was telling me.
Don’t get me wrong… I wasn’t blaming anyone else. The logical conclusion I had. todraw was that there was something I didn’t know, and it was holding me back.
It was as though there was a shadow that followed me everywhere I went, but I couldn’t see its source. There had to be a mountain or a cloud somewhere, blocking the sun from shining on me, but no matter which way I turned, I couldn’t see it. I just needed to find a way to see it.
I knew that I was making some mistakes, and I just had identify them.
To gain these missing skills, I took the steps of seeking help from coaches, counselors, therapists, trainers, and even medical professionals and nutritionists. This was a significant investment beyond my bachelor’s degree, master’s degree, and professional certifications. I took still more courses and immersive behavioral seminars.
Through this journey, I discovered three crucial things that had been missing. Soon I realized these skills aren’t typically taught in most college or master’s degree programs.
Three soft skills you need to know
In a nutshell, there are three fundamental soft skills.
When you develop these skills, they can significantly transform how you operate at work and in your personal life. You’ll start achieving results and wielding influence in ways you haven’t experienced before.
These are the three most critical soft skills that you need:
1. Soft skill number one: clarify your purpose
The most important soft skill, which can make a huge difference no matter what you do, is the ability to clearly understand your own purpose and intentions for your life and career.
It means creating a clear plan for the future and being able to explain it in a way that others can easily grasp and maybe even decide to follow along. Doing so also inspires others to find and create opportunities and plans for themselves.
Regardless, the number one soft skill is about making your purpose clear, setting a good plan, and explaining it effectively to others. Until you have goals and a plan of your own, you’ll always be part of fulfilling someone else’s most important goals.
2. Soft skill number two: build productive relationships
The second crucial soft skill involves building and maintaining positive working relationships, even when faced with stress or differing opinions on priorities and actions.
It’s about nurturing long-term connections and influencing others in a way that benefits both parties, creating a win-win situation.
This skill fosters a sense of unity, where everyone collaborates, gets along, and progresses together. This becomes the case even if they’re pursuing their own goals separately.
You’ve likely encountered this dynamic in your own work experience, where people are working together but may have distinct roles or priorities.
The most successful people have the ability to coexist with others despite differences, and make progress on their own priorities even while others get what they want, too.
3. Soft skill number three: leadership skills
The third essential and most important set of soft skills is leadership skills.
Leadership is something I thought I had mastered after investing nearly $100,000 in graduate school.
In graduate school, they told me that they would mold me into a leader with competence, conscience, and compassion. Like many of us, I assumed that once I obtained the degree or took the course, I would magically possess the skill, that it would come naturally.
However, it took me a decade to realize that true mastery was still elusive. While I was going through the motions and doing the work of doing things with other people, I wasn’t being a leader that others wanted to follow, or even spend time with.
To be an effective leader, you need some basic interpersonal skills in understanding yourself, facilitating discussions, and being adaptable.
It also helps to have some management skills, including project management and agile management practices, which you may have begun to hear about at work. Continuous improvement is valuable too.
You may notice that some of these related skills are beginning to sound like “hard skills” or technical skills.
Nonetheless, these skills are crucial, and they’re something you need to practice, like any other skill.
Think about it like learning to ride a skateboard, ski, or even knit or crochet. Initially, it’s tough. You stumble, make mistakes, and it doesn’t feel natural.
However, with consistent practice over dozens, hundreds, and eventually thousands of iterations, you become better, even masterful. Eventually, these skills become second nature, and you become proficient, using them without conscious effort.
My journey to soft skills
Continuing my example story above, eventually I saw that I hadn’t truly embraced leadership; I hadn’t assumed ownership; I hadn’t committed wholeheartedly to making everything work seamlessly. I had yet to fully become the person I needed to be to make a real impact in management and leadership roles by developing strong soft skills.
But things changed when I made a commitment. I decided that everything was going to work out, and I was going to be the driving force behind it, even when it didn’t come naturally. I pledged to be accountable and responsible for the results, no matter what.
As I began to step into leadership with my teams and colleagues, something remarkable happened. They started to appreciate my involvement, and I was soon promoted to lead teams myself.
Now, it’s become a regular occurrence to hear from someone each week about the positive impact I’m making within the team and the broader group.
In meetings and conversations, I’ve developed a knack for asking questions that bring clarity to our discussions. I offer something unique that others can’t, not because there’s something wrong with them, but because I bring a different perspective. It’s a difference that’s being recognized and acknowledged routinely. It has become a fundamental value for my team.
This feedback is something I hadn’t experienced consistently in my career before, and certainly not in my personal relationships. This isn’t about boasting; it’s about recognizing the skills I’ve developed through dedication and hard work.
There was a time when I struggled in my job, and my relationships with team members and family members weren’t always smooth. But now, it’s working, thanks to what I’ve learned, developed, committed to, and who I’ve become each day.
Bringing it all together
Enhancing your soft skills can make a significant difference in both your career and personal life.
The skills you bring or don’t bring with you have a profound impact on every aspect of your journey.
These essential soft skills include:
- Defining your purpose and charting your direction.
- Mastering relationship-building for sustainable, productive connections.
- Honing your team-building and leadership abilities.
How to grow your soft skills fast
I struggled for many years until I made the breakthrough and got the soft skills training and practice I needed.
The experience was agonizing, and it’s terrible to think that others might go through the long, agonizing journey I did.
I committed my life to being the servant leader I learned to be, helping others develop and master these skills so they can accelerate pat the hard part and be more satisfied and successful faster.
Let’s meet and discuss
If you’re eager to learn about how you can improve your quality of life and career by improving your soft skills, click on the link down below. 👇
Join me for a Free 45-minute Clarity Call.
Click to schedule your session: https://letsmeet.io/dylancornelius/45-minute-consult 👈
In this call, we’ll introduce ourselves, share our respective stories, and see how we can support one another to achieve our respective goals.
Remember, the results you achieve are directly proportional to the people you spend time with, and the effort and time you invest.
I look forward to meeting you soon and being a part of your strategic plan. I hope you’ll take the faster, easier path and meet with me.
Take care, and I’ll see you soon!
