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In addition to seeing clearly your Power and Purpose around relationships, it’s useful to plan your perfect relationship the same way you would define a Product. Answering these key relationship questions can help you generate a clear idea of the People in your relationship, and describe how they interact within it.
Note: this model works just as well for professional relationships as it does for romantic relationships.
The union you create, and your experience of being in it, is the Product of your relationship. Wouldn’t you rather start at the beginning and create your experience as much as possible, as opposed to being subject to a relationship or partner you did not authentically choose?
Fundamental Relationship Questions
These are the 5 fundamental relationship questions. They distinguish between the people in the relationship and the relationship itself. In them, you can begin to see the complex set of interactions, and even “conflicts of interest” inherent in relationship. No wonder relationships are so complicated!
By themselves, these questions are hard to answer directly, but with helpers like the exercise I’ll publish next week, and the values exercise (linked below), will support you to develop an understanding of your answers to these fundamental questions.
- Who are you? (You answer this question through Values assessments and other introspection — see link below)
- Who are you in the relationship? (You answer the questions in the exercise below)
- Who is your partner?Both you and your prospective partner answer this question through Values assessments and other introspection — see the link below
- The two of you compare your answers, and look for areas of alignment and areas of misalignment
- You will find areas of alignment attractive and comfortable at first. Over time, you may find your areas of alignment becoming well-worn, dull, or boring…
- You may suffer in your areas of misalignment.
- Who is your partner in the relationship? (Both you and your partner answer the questions below and compare)
- What is the nature of your relationship? (Both you and your partner answer the questions below and compare)
Next week I’ll share a tool to enable you to focus your thinking and easily answer the above questions in detail. In the mean time, begin your inquiry into the nature of what can work for you in relationships, and what to avoid.
Your assignment this week
- Who are you for yourself? Begin to answer this question using the values exercise and perfect life exercise.
- Who is your partner for your partner? Have them begin to answer this question using the values exercise and perfect life exercise.