In the first part of this lesson, you learned that power is a choice. In this lesson, we’ll discuss confidence. It’s amazing how easy it is to have confidence when we have power. If you are willing to be powerful, you can have confidence.
Take this opportunity to choose power, then read on and be willing to have confidence beyond measure!
Don’t worry: like everything else in the human mind, it will come and go.
Just know you can come back for a refresher at any time you’re feeling down or low or powerless or unhappy.
At any time, if you are feeling or thinking in a way that isn’t conducive to your greatest expectation, be willing to let it go.
Come back as often as you need to claim your power and have confidence!
“The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice that which we are for what we will become.”
–Charles Du Bos
Your Assignment To Have Confidence
1. Have Confidence By Giving Yourself Permission.
One thing the boss gave herself, and then was given by everyone else, was Permission. If you haven’t already done so, give yourself permission, for whatever it is you want, or don’t want to be, do, or have.
I’ll start by giving you permission, because sometimes it’s helpful and even encouraging when someone else give us permission first.
However, it’s critical that you give yourself permission, regardless who else may do so: until you give yourself permission, you will never have the same power as you’ll have after you give yourself permission.
Your first assignment is complete when you have a written document giving you permission to be, do, or have whatever you want, with nothing you don’t.
First, I’ll give you permission:
- I hereby give you permission to be, do, or have whatever you want!
- You have my permission to be happy.
- I give you permission to be thin, fit, healthy, and strong.
- You hereby have my permission to live the life you want, and to abandon the life you don’t want.
- I give you permission to to be wealthy, friendly, and likable.
- You have my permission to have the relationship of your dreams.
- I give you permission to have the work life that inspires you, a job you love, and the high performing team and business you always wanted.
Now, YOU give yourself permission to be, do, or have whatever you want.
I’ll wait.
- Write it down.
- Repeat it to yourself, out loud.
- Get the words just right (but don’t spend more than a few minutes — you’ll have the rest of your life to perfect this — just start).
- This is your life, starting now.
- Take it, just as you want it, with nothing you don’t.
As you stay committed to a belief and its possibilities, you will actually begin to believe them more and more!
- As you stay committed, your brain works on the problem and you see more and more of the conditions and actions that will cause it.
- Then you just need to choose to take those actions.
- Then you have to actually take those actions.
Over time, if your plan was reasonable, and your actions were competent, if you modified your plan when appropriate, if you took new actions as it became clear they were necessary, then you delivered results that supported your goal, and eventually you achieved your goal.
2. Have Confidence Through 100% Commitment.
Too often in life:
- We go through the motions.
- We’re not fully engaged.
- We lack focus.
- We lack self-discipline.
- We’re not paying attention.
- We lose interest.
- We don’t follow through.
Stop it!
Pick the things you REALLY care about. Commit to them 100%. …or forget about them.
Look at the places you’re not really interested or engaged. If you’re not 100% committed to them, stop it. Let them go. Just stop.
Begin to focus only on the things you care about 100% and are willing to literally live for daily.
Begin to identify those areas where you’re not 100% committed, and begin taking steps to eliminate, outsource, or stop giving them any time at all.
Sure, there are places you may not be able to quit entirely — yet.
In the next section, we’ll begin to get really clear what you want and what you don’t want. You’ll begin to focus on the areas you really care about. You’ll create a North Star to orient your activities.
Declare your commitment to commit. Declare your commitment to no longer spend time and resources in areas you don’t really care about.
Write down your commitment to these things.
3. Have Confidence With A Power Board.
Create a document, clipboard, binder, or folder for your permission sheet, where you can add more documents to come.
The more portable, personalized, and convenient, the better.
In many businesses, management has a “dashboard”.
You can give yours whatever name you want. In fact, I recommend you choose a colorful, personalized, 3 word (or fewer) name for it. You’ll want to be able to refer to this “Power Board” multiple times daily.
From here on out, I’ll refer to it as your Power Board.
You can change the form of this any time you like. I use a google doc for much of my own personal content, and I link to other documents from it. I prefer the “portability” and ability to reach my electronic versions from anywhere.
Yours can be electronic or physical. Whatever floats your boat.
Learn more here about effective use of Power Board dashboards.
4. Have Confidence Through Play.
Get it straight in your head that this is going to be fun!
Just as that boss above wasn’t always boss, at some point early in their life they were just playing boss. They visualized and thought about what being boss might be like, and in doing so they became more and more certain of themselves as boss.
They didn’t get it right the first dozen or hundred times.
Neither will you.
Tap into the ingenuity and unstoppability of most little kids. They play, they have fun, they “know” they’re a superhero, and they’re unstoppable in that knowledge.
Take that on.
Adopt the mindset that this will be fun.
You can play around with it.
Don’t get too caught up in worries and dialogues about failure or what’s at stake. This stuff will paralyze you, and stop you from playing and having fun the way you need to if you are going to pursue significant change.
Worry and suffering also makes it not fun. As mammals, we don’t want to do what isn’t fun.
Let’s find the path to fun. When we do, we can win!
- Write down the words, “I am playful, and this is fun.” Memorize them.
- Create a related affirmation, if another inspires you. Write this down too.
Add this document to your Power Board.
5. Have Confidence Through Gratitude and Celebration!
Celebration is a form of play.
It’s a critically important part of reinforcing success, experiencing social support, and recalling the behaviors that created that success.
“Gratitude and fear live in the same part of our brain, but can’t exist at the same time. That’s why celebrating those hard-earned achievements is critical to future success.”
–Danny Iny
You’ve now taken on this course, reviewed lessons about some of the things that will support your success: visualization, free writing, practice, and power.
You’ve learned specific things that will support your success, you’ve taken action, completed at least 4 documents that will support your success, and you’ve arrived at this point in the course!
Practice: Be Grateful and Celebrate!
- Do a happy dance. Sing a song of celebration. Pat yourself on the back. Share your goal with someone else. Ask someone to acknowledge your progress. Thank yourself. Be grateful. Reward yourself.
- Begin to practice gratitude by making a list of things you’re grateful for.
- Write a list of people to thank for these things.
- Take on a daily practice of identifying 3 things for which you’re grateful. It doesn’t matter what. The important thing is to begin exercising that part of your brain in an affirmative way. I encourage you to consider a daily practice with 5 Minute Journal, or a similar product or practice. There’s also a very inexpensive smart phone app!
“Remember to celebrate milestones as you prepare for the road ahead.”
—Nelson Mandela
You are amazing! There is no one like you. You are here, now.
The world is better with you in it.
Your success here will positively impact others all around you.
Thank you!
6. Have Confidence Through Practice
Go here and read about Practice, another foundation of your Power. This page will stay open while you read it. Just close that page when you’re done, and this one will be here waiting for you to finish.
Recap
In this lesson, you reviewed and practiced in the following areas:
- Permission (Freedom to)
- Commitment (Resolve)
- Power Board (Focus)
- Play (Fun: Positive Reinforcement)
- Have fun
- Experiment
- Be generous
- Expect to improve
- Measure results
- Gratitude (Appreciation)
- Celebration (Acknowledge success, Be grateful, and share it)
- Practice
Results
By now you should have a Power Board with:
- Commitment to act despite fear
- Permission
- Your Commitment
- Play
- A list of things and people you’re grateful for
Progress Checkpoint
Answer these questions in writing (just a sentence or two apiece will do) and include the result in your PowerBoard:
- What was most valuable for you in this lesson?
- Describe something you learned that you did not know before.
- Describe something you did that you hadn’t done before?
- Name something you created that you hadn’t created before?
- Describe a result you delivered that you hadn’t delivered before.
Celebrate Your Progress
Do a little dance, pat yourself on the back, be proud of yourself, tell someone, ask them to congratulate you!
Don’t worry, I’ll wait.
This is important.
You rock!
Thank you for:
- Being amazing.
- Being here.
- Taking a stand to make a difference in the world.
It matters.
It will make a difference all around you.
Next: Lesson 2 — Find Purpose
Click the link above for
Lesson 2–Purpose
More Information
- Beyond Grit: 10 Powerful Practices To Gain The High-Performance Edge
- 3 Ways To Raise Your Self Belief
- How I Became More Powerful, Not More Tactical
- How To Achieve Your 10-Year Plan In The Next 6 Months
- 8 Times You Should Be Honest With Yourself To Live Your Happiest Life
- How to motivate yourself to change your behavior | Tali Sharot | TEDxCambridge
- The secret to self control | Jonathan Bricker | TEDxRainier
- The 4 Steps to Unshakeable Commitment With Any Goal
- Mini-bios extracted from:
- Checkpoint inspired by The Coaching Habit
Photo Credits
- Charles du Bos: By Unknown – http://wp.unil.ch/crlrimages/files/2015/01/crlr-images-elegances-du-bos-04254.jpg, CC BY-SA 3.0, Link.
- Danny Iny: Photo courtesy Mirasee.com. Link.
- Nelson Mandela: By South Africa The Good News, CC BY 2.0, Link.
- Bridge Designer: iStock/BrianAJackson. Link.
