10 Reasons it’s so Hard to Create Lasting Change

 

It’s hard to create lasting change.

Statistics have shown 9 in 10 goals go unmet.

The foundations of failure lie in a few areas.

If you’re not getting the result you want, something’s missing in one or more of those areas.

Here are the places to look.

Clarity of Purpose

  1. We have no incentive. If we don’t have a big enough goal, we have no reason to undertake the work and inconvenience of developing new habits. When we have a meaningful goal, nothing can stop us!
  2. We get distracted.
    1. We pack a healthy lunch and a friend invites us to Mexican food.
    2. An urgent project comes up.
    3. A setback makes us so frustrated, we “lose our cool”.
    4. We reach into the fridge for a carrot, then we see the pudding cups.

Clarity of Plan

  1. We forget. Old habits die hard, and it takes consistent focus (for a little while) to build new ones.
  2. We don’t know how. Everyone needs a guide to do the thing they haven’t done before. Without it, we are bound to fail.
  3. We get confused. Is fruit healthier than pound cake? Should I be accommodating or stand my ground? In the face of confusing or misleading options, we get frustrated and stop.

People Problems

  1. We don’t start. Either we make an excuse, we convince ourselves we can’t succeed, or we believe someone else’s story about why we won’t succeed.
  2. We have no support. Wouldn’t it be great to have a place to go for little questions that come up, a word of authentic encouragement, and a safe space to vent frustration and get back on track?
  3. We have no encouragement. Humans are social animals, and we need to know our tribe accepts us. Nothing will stop us faster than being ignored or told our behavior is unacceptable.
  4. We have no help. Everyone needs help from an experienced mentor to meet a big goal in an area they haven’t operated successfully before.
  5. We quit. Some programs rigidly require so much lifestyle change it seems impossible. When it seems too hard or we experience a setback, we give up or give in.

Review

We don’t meet goals because we lack:

  1. clarity, or
  2. a workable plan, or
  3. guidance.

Reflect

  • What did you see here that is new to you?
  • Which of the above have you experienced? (I bet you can name a time you experienced each of the above.)
  • Which of the above would make the biggest difference for you now?

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Dylan Cornelius helps coachable parents and professionals upgrade their confidence, respect, and satisfaction.

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